i shouldn't have blinked

charlotte grace,

a wise friend of mine told me recently that if i blinked, you'd be grown up.  it feels like that might be true.  today marks two months since you were born, and it feels like it was just yesterday.  two months ago, you were this teeny tiny little wisp of a girl with big, bright eyes who slept more than she was awake and charmed the pants off of everyone you met.

so wee!

fast forward two months and you seem like a different baby completely!

look at you now, all alert and curious!

you're a little chunky monkey now.  you're so soft and sweet and squirmy and funny!  we see more of your personality every day.  you make eye contact now, and you smile all the time.  you even laughed yesterday!  it was the cutest thing i've ever heard.  you also started babbling a little yesterday, and we had a nice little 'talk' :).  you're even starting to teethe, and i thought it was too soon, but apparently it's not!  you're not too miserable yet, but mama and daddy did go and load up on teethers and natural teething gel so we can help you out.  anything for you.  :) 

you really are growing up fast.  i wish i could stop blinking so you would stay little forever, but i'm also excited to see you grow up and watch who you become.  i'm excited for the days where we can really play, where i can read to you and see you understanding what i'm saying, where we can sing and dance together.  i can't wait for your first steps, your first words...and yet, i desperately want you to stay little always.  i can't imagine you being 5, 12, 18, 25, 30...growing up, going to college, getting married and having children of your own...i want all of that for you, but not for a long, long time.  for now, mommy just wants to enjoy every day being with you and stealing all your hugs and kisses.  

in the meantime, if you catch me staring off into space, don't worry.  i'm just practicing not blinking.  :)

i love you forever and always, 

mommy :)

perfect

angel baby,

when you were still in mommy's tummy, i used to sing to you.  sometimes you totally ignored me, but other times you would wiggle and kick as if you were dancing or responding somehow.  it made me feel so close to you, to able to share something i love so much with the perfect little person inside me.  i have one single, incredibly vivid memory of singing to you that still brings me to tears.  

it was dark, and i was driving home from somewhere.  i was singing along with the radio, and you were just hanging out, shifting every once in a while like you were trying to get comfortable.  (it was close to time for you to come, so i know space was limited.)  a song came on the radio and i started singing and really thinking about the lyrics. 

pretty pretty please,

don't you ever ever feel,

like you're less than, less than perfect.

pretty pretty please,

if you ever ever feel,

like you're nothing, you are perfect to me.

you perked up during the first chorus and started kicking and moving like you were dancing :).  it felt like you were listening to me sing and even though i know you couldn't understand the lyrics, i was suddenly desperate for you to know what the song said.  i sang that song like i was on stage at carnegie hall, performing for the most important audience in the world--and i was.  i was singing for you.  all the while, tears were streaming down my cheeks.  i felt that song more strongly than any i could remember in a long, long time.  

baby girl, this world is a crazy place.  it's full of love and light and joy, but it's also filled with anger, darkness and despair.  people can be so good to each other, and people can be equally evil and ugly.  it can be hard to live in this world, and all i can do is hope that your father and i give you the tools to handle what you might face.  as much as i wish we could just protect you from all the negative things in the world, we just can't.  what we can do is make sure that you know that no matter what, you are precious--and perfect--to us.  

never let the world or anyone in it tell you that you can't do something.  never let the word 'no' keep you from dreaming.  never forget that you are wonderful and you deserve to be treated that way--not just by other people, but by yourself as well.  

change the voices in your head,

make them like you instead.

try to believe in yourself the way we believe in you.  you have so much potential in you, and i have a feeling you can and will do great things with your life. one of the keys to that, though, is loving yourself and being confident in yourself the way those who love you are.  your self-esteem and self-confidence are important, baby, and you can't let anyone take them from you.  if someone puts you down, don't take it to heart.  don't let that voice in your head turn against you.  i can tell you from personal experience that it isn't worth it.  there's only one you, and you're amazing...remember that!

don't you ever ever feel

like you're less than, less than perfect 

there is nothing you could ever do to make us stop loving you.  nothing.  you are our child, and we love you unconditionally.  even when you misbehave (and you will), when you're being bad (and you will), and when you say 'it's not fair!' and 'i hate you!' (and you will)...we will always love you.  we will always be your home and your safe place to land.  you will always be welcomed home with open arms and open hearts, and we will never, ever judge you.  we will always be there for you, and we will always do whatever we can to help you.  we will do everything we can to make sure you are happy, healthy and safe.  and you will always know how much you are loved and adored.   

you are perfect to me. 

and you are. 

all my love always, 

mommy :)

a little about you

sweet baby girl, 

i love talking about you.  i know that all mommies feel that way about their babies, but i also know we all feel like our babies are the most special, important, awesome babies in the world.  (they're all wrong, of course, because i have the most special, important, awesome baby in the world.)  

see?  awesomest little monkey on the planet!

your little personality grows more and more clear to us every day.  you are sweet, funny, sunny and stubborn.

you smile when you hear our voices. 

when you want something, you sure let us know!

sometimes i think you think mommy and daddy are absolutely clueless and ridiculous.  (spoiler alert:  we actually are.  good luck, baby.)

and when you're upset, you make it very. very. clear. 

you are already so strong and so smart.  you hold your head up and are trying so hard to start crawling.  i know it's hard to get those little arms and legs to move like you want them to, but i know you'll figure it out soon.  too soon for my taste, i imagine.  

next thursday, you'll be two months old.  almost 9 weeks.  62 days.  it feels like a blink of an eye and yet already mommy and daddy can't imagine life without you.  hearing you coo and make little baby noises makes me smile no matter what is happening.  seeing you smile warms my heart like nothing else.  snuggling with you makes me happier than anything on earth.  

i can't wait to see what else i get to learn about you. 

i love you, always and forever, 

mommy :)

the parentals

precious charlotte,

it occurred to me earlier today that after yesterday's post about your family, i failed to tell you anything about daddy and me!  i know that for the last (almost) 8 weeks, daddy and i have been fuzzy looking faces, constant voices and the primary source of food.  that's all that you get right now, but we're a lot more than that.  :)

this is you and daddy the day after you were born.  look at your sweet little face!  daddy loves you to pieces.  his pet name for you is 'little girl'.  not terribly creative, i know, but the way he says it is so sweet.  he loves to play with you...as much as you can play right now anyway.  he likes to play horsey with you, and tummy time is one of his favorite things.  i know it's not your activity of choice but it's good for you.  that little head isn't going to hold itself up!  (well technically, your neck will do it, but you get what i mean.)

things daddy likes:
you and mommy
georgia tech football
weird music
overcast days
video games that involve solving puzzles
expressing his affection through annoying acts (he likes to tickle mommy and make her squirm.  he does it to you too, but you aren't really ticklish yet, so right now it's just weird.)
sleep

things daddy doesn't like:
leaving you to go to work
uga
other drivers (daddy has something we call road rage...i'll explain that one when you're older)
wearing any shoes other than his sneakers

daddy is pretty laid back and easygoing.  he doesn't get stressed out and not much really bothers him.  it's awesome.  he has a fantastic sense of humor and he can be silly, but he is so sweet and so good.  he's also the smartest person i've ever met.  he's has so much to teach you, and i can't wait to watch you learn from everything your daddy knows.

then there's me.  i'm mommy.  (not a great picture, but there aren't many of both of us.  i usually take the pictures.)  this was either the day you were born or the day after.  as you can see, mommy loves to snuggle with you.  you are such a little cuddlebug!  mommy has a nice list of nicknames for you: baby bird, birdie, gracie, tater tot (yeah, don't ask), bitty bitty...and of course baby, sweetie, lovey, honey, sweetheart...yeah, mommy comes up with lots of pet names.  i can't help it--you're so cute!  mommy loves to play with you too.  i actually think i'm better at bouncy horsey than daddy, but that's just me.  i love to read to you, sing to you, and try to teach you to play with your toys.  one day, one day... :).  mommy adores spending her days with you--being a stay at home mommy is fantastic!  i'm so lucky that i get to do that while you're little.  we'll never get this time back, so it's wonderful to be able to spend it watching you grow and learn.

things mommy likes:
YOU :)
daddy
music
wesleyan college--pk's # 1!
georgia tech football and braves baseball
springtime
cats
reading
flip flops

things mommy doesn't like:
insomnia (that's why i'm still up now even though i'm really tired)
the color orange
rutabegas
ragweed
uga (sensing a theme?)

i'm not as laid back as daddy.  i'm what you might call high strung.  that difference is part of the reason daddy and i are such a good fit--i remind him of things that need to be taken care of, and he helps keep me relaxed.  you and daddy complete me in a way i never anticipated was possible.  you make me so happy and i truly feel like the luckiest wife and mommy in the world to have you both!

we love you, little princess!

forever,

mommy :)

the beginning--your family

my darling baby bird,

mommy started this blog so that i can (try) to write you a little note each day...or as often as I can...so that when you get older, you'll have an idea what your babyhood and childhood were like.

you are the sweetest, best little baby in the world.  the day you were born was the happiest day of my life.  i had wanted for so long to be a mother, and you were the greatest blessing.  daddy and i were overjoyed when we found out you were coming!  we couldn't wait to tell the world about our precious baby!  we spent hours talking about names (we had a boy name picked out too, but mommy always knew you were a girl!), figuring out how to decorate your room, and daydreaming of the things you would do as you grew up.  no two parents could have been happier or more excited to have a baby than we were.  you have been our pride and joy ever since.

the rest of your family adores you, too.  you have a great family!  there's your grandpa, your aunt calley, gigi and papa, and lots of aunts that love you like family...you might as well be to them.  you also have a wonderful angel nana in heaven.  mommy's mommy lives in heaven with jesus, and i get the feeling that you've already met her.  she would have loved so much to be here to play with and enjoy you...but i'm guessing you had lots of play time with her before you got here!  she loves you dearly, and i promise that i'll tell you all about her as you get older.

your grandpa is...a hot mess.  in a good way, of course :).  he is silly and smart and a little goofy, and he adores you.  until you came along, grandpa had not held a baby since mommy was little.  when mommy was about 5 months old, i did what you do sometimes and flung myself back in grandpa's arms.  (nana was looking at clothes and gave me to grandpa.)  he nearly lost his grip on me, and it scared him so much that for 31 or so years, he wouldn't hold another baby.  and he won't hold you if i'm there, something i still don't quite understand.  daddy told me about grandpa holding you last time we were at his house, and he really liked it.  grandpa loves you so much and he is so happy you're here.

aunt calley loves you as much as if you were her little girl.  she would spoil you rotten if i let her :).  she is awesome--funny, smart, beautiful, warm and loving.  when i told her i was having you, she cried tears of absolute joy.  she loves everything about you, but i think her favorite thing is how warm and snuggly you are.  you'll have a great friend for life in aunt calley--i know that for sure!

gigi and papa are daddy's parents, and they adore you.  papa already thinks you talk to him, and he will lay on the floor with you for ages, 'talking' with you.  i'm sure that one day he'll have you out on the boat fishing and at the hunting club with a little pink rifle hunting deer, but i also know that if you take after daddy and i and have no interest in that stuff, he'll find things for you to do together.  gigi calls you her cutie pie, and she is always showing off pictures of you.  she and i are determined to show you the world of girly stuff :).  she loves to hold you and snuggle with you, and you seem to love it too!

mommy has some very dear friends who are like family to her, and they all love you lots.  aunt melissa was actually there when you were born, and she was a huge help to mommy while i was laboring with you.  mommy and aunt melissa have been friends practically forever!  she has two little girls of her own, and they think you're terrific too.  (i think they're really excited about you getting old enough to play with them!)  i try to send aunt melissa a picture of you each day, because it makes her feel so good to see how sweet and happy you are.  aunt kathryn, or aunt kake, went to wesleyan with mommy, so we've been friends for ages.  she and uncle jon are hopefully going to be parents in the near future too, and i can't wait for you to be friends with their child.  aunt kake lives in atlanta, so we don't get to see her as often as i would like, but when we do she always enjoys getting cuddles from you!  auntie erin lives here and gets to see you more often, and she's going to spoil you--i can already tell.  she gave you so many gifts before you were even born, but more important than the gifts is the idea that you are very precious to her and she loves you.

you are such a lucky little girl to have so many people who love you, birdie!  the most important thing in life is the love of family and friends, and you are already blessed with that.  you will grow up knowing that you are special and beloved to so many people...you can't ask for more than that.

you fell asleep while mommy was writing this.  daddy took you to bed and tucked you in, so sweet dreams, my angel baby.  mommy loves you more than anything.

i love my sweet little girl so much!

see you in the morning for more love and cuddle time!

love you forever, 

mommy :)